You get the feeling, as you grow older, that something will change, that you can look back and feel a certain sense of accomplishment. It doesn’t always work that way. Yes, I can take a walk down memory lane and reminisce and feel pretty good about the year gone by…but I find that it is temporary, short term even.
I can opt to be a negative ned about the whole thing or be cheerful and live life as it comes to me. From where I’m standing, that’s boring. I have got some sort of new resolve though.
I’ve decided to brown nose and get done with my degree at the university for once and for all. Curiously the decision has not come to me out of that chat we had, Dennis. I’m way too big headed to really give a shit about books. I am loathe to admit it, but I feel like some sort of wimp for failing to stand my ground and say Fuck Education! And move on with my life. Its worked well for Rev, and I certainly wish I could hold the same resolve.
It certainly isn’t because I am tired of meeting relatives that feel the need to ask me when
I am graduating every two weeks. I considered, for a while, wearing a tee-shirt that had the words, “Never to Graduate”, but from what I gather negative thinking has never really helped anyone. The alternative would be “Sod Off”, but I would sooner have greater success playing monopoly with a lobotomized chimpanzee than getting the message across to onlookers. Such is life.
The truth is, I feel I owe it to my family. They’ve stuck by me through thick and thin and lord knows I have been massively big-headed (yeah, literally and figuratively. See how dissing yourself kills the moment?) and refused to follow the path that they deemed fit.
The second reason is probably the fact that it kind of bothers me that I will be at the university at the same time with my sister. This would be all hanky-dory if she were my twin, but seeing as she isn’t, that’s every shade of fucked up.
I also feel a need to get my life in order. I suppose one could say there’s shit I’ve been taking for granted… people even, and I’d love to say that’s all going to change, but I really have no control over some of these things. I want to, but I can’t,
I’ve realized this year-past that a great number of my friends are bloggers. And I would so love to get into the how we met thing, but what’s the point? Why look back when what really matters is what’s in front of you…
I have also resolved to stop jumping from job to job. It was glamorous and all and there’s a certain feeling of Organisational-immortality I picked up, but its really hard to answer potential employers when they ask you why you left your last job. From what I gather, its generally not a good enough answer to say, “just!” and then smirk. Maybe that’s what I am getting wrong, maybe if I said, “just” and started bawling and wailing that would make an impression. Maybe.
I’ve gotten tired of saying we are not ready for CHOGM. I can only go on and about a topic for so long. What do you take me for? The Red Pepper? Harry Sagara? I will say this, the visitors are obliged to say they are crazy about our country no matter what. Sure we have people on the job, guys who started planting trees last week. Not to worry, the Ugandan variety of tree is the quick growing kind. We should see some sort of progress some time next year. While the visitors are here, we shall be encouraged to refer to them as “baby trees”. It will be politically incorrect to refer to them as “little”.
I am done bitching about the state of the country and people Caught Hoarding Our Global fund Money. I mean, when you think about it, who would be any different if they were placed in the same situation. I mean, with that kind of money, you would be able to send your kids to the best schools, have yourself a set of wheels that can withstand pot-holes, nay, create them… and you could just as easily build a house that could rock you to sleep and change your shoes and avail state of the art entertainment that would mysteriously block images of suffering sick country mates. “ Seriously, if I’d known there were people in need of the money, I wouldn’t have taken that much…but as it is, my TV doesn’t broadcast Ugandan suffering. Just CNN… the American one.”
Incidentally, if all goes well (read; cheque maturity and goodwill) I should have the costume drink up thingy over the weekend. I have three potential venues, so I can’t confirm anything just yet.
I want to be able to look back and feel that I have accomplished something, anything. So here I am once more, the path of life, presented with a fork in the road. I look at it and make my first step wondering whether I really want to take the path that goes straight ahead or veer off somewhat and see… Time will tell.